Ugh, I’m stuck in some bathroom at this social event and the toilet is out of order–hiding because I have really TERRIBLE gas! I can’t stop fucking farting–and what’s worse, I also need to take a dump… but since the toilet is out of order, if I take a shit in here, everybody will know it was me! My only chance is to fart out as much gas as I can, while holding in my shit…and then racing it over to the men’s room… I wait it out, farting and farting, clutching my aching tummy, god I’m so bloated and gassy! I finally can’t hold it in anymore, and poop all over the floor… shit!!